8 hours to go!!!!!

Well friends I have about 8 hours to go before they cut me open. At this point I am having very mixed emotions about all of this. On one hand I am utterly terrified. I mean really what the heck am I thinking; I am willingly allowing and even paying some bozo (sorry doc) to cut into my guts and replumb me. Did the shrink miss something in his evaluation, maybe he should have asked me back for a 3 visit of maybe just referred me up to Salem and a rubber room.

On the other hand I am stoked, like so excited I don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight. I have been obese nearly my entire life. I remember coming home from school so many days in tears because the other kids were so mean. Mostly just degrading names they came up with for me. I learned just to laugh with them, if I didn’t respond they shut up a lot sooner. You would think that those kids would have matured as they aged into adults, however they just remain bullies in an adult form. As an adult the bullies have had different names and been in different places but have been bullies none the less.

I have never really let my weight get in the way of what I wanted to do, if I really wanted to do something I just did it and paid the price in pain the next day, maybe into the next week. Now my weight limits what I can or am willing to do. Heck I get out of breath tying my boots. Many mornings I just don’t tie them up all the way.

So many things will change some for the better some for the worse. It is hard to imagine the “worse” at this point, thinking I already have that t-shirt, yeah it’s a 5X.

The Bible is pretty clear about me being able to add days to my life, I can’t. However I am fairly sure that I can shorten it significantly by making poor choices. I feel that this surgery is one of my better choices.

I know I am kind of rambling, it’s my blog that’s what it’s for, for me to ramble.
So I will post again post op and let the world know how it went. Maybe I might have pictures of the insides of me. That would be pretty cool.